


Ghosts of Memory, Embers of Hope

by RachelisTheWendyBird



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dark Castle, Forgiveness, Gen, Hope, Memories, The Enchanted Forest, the chipped teacup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 14:46:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1308706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelisTheWendyBird/pseuds/RachelisTheWendyBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place after the Curse is reversed and all the fairytale characters are sent back to the Enchanted Forest. After returning to the Dark Castle, Belle and Baelfire have a long-due conversation...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts of Memory, Embers of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains spoilers for the Once Upon a Time season three midseason finale. It should also be noted that I wrote this before the second half of season three premiered, so it does not match up with the events of the show.

Two weeks. It had been two weeks. That’s all. But it felt like an eternity to Belle. An eternity that she had passed as though in a trance, save for the moments when her loss sprang upon her; Rumpelstiltskin, her dearest Rumple, was dead. She had watched it happen, bound by Pan’s spell, unable to move or speak while Rumple said his goodbyes. This truth and memory would attack her in quiet moments, like a pack of savage wolves; as she wandered the stone halls of the Dark Castle, lingered in the library, came across some object that held some small memory, and as she lay alone in bed at night. Why was this their fate? They were supposed to have a happy ending. As she walked through the halls she knew so well, for what seemed like the thousandth time in that two weeks, Belle cast her mind back to those last few hours in Storybrook. 

Just when they thought they would succeed in saving the town from the curse, Pan had appeared. He bound them with a spell, to hold them while his curse caught up with them. But then Rumpelstiltskin had appeared. For a moment, Belle had felt relief, secure in the knowledge that her love would defeat Pan, just as he had done before. But then she had realized what he planned to do to defeat him; to kill Pan, he had to die. And he had. He had done it to save her, to save all of them. He had everything to live for, but still he gave it all up to save them. This was the part that hurt her the most; because it was the bravest thing she had ever seen, and she was so proud of him. In that moment he had become a hero, and all she had ever hoped for was for him to be simply good. 

After all that, there was still the matter of the curse. In order to stop it, Regina had to undo the original curse. That would mean they would all go back to the Enchanted Forest (except for Emma and Henry), and Storybrook would never exist. Belle remembered how they had all stood together, watching Emma and Henry drive away as Regina undid the curse bearing down upon them. As the purple fog of un-doing washed over them, Belle closed her eyes and wished; she wished that Storybrook never existing meant that Rumpelstiltskin had never died, even if it meant that Pan also wasn’t dead. 

When the fog cleared Belle opened her eyes, and there was everyone standing around, looking as though they had never left. She looked around eagerly, half-hoping to see her Rumple. She would even have been happy to see the leather-clad, scaly-skinned imp she had first met, sauntering towards her with one of his “niyah-ha-ha’s!” But she did not see him. She had been foolish to hope. At that point she noticed she was wearing her blue dress, the one she had made while living with Rumpelstilskin in the Dark Castle. The realization caused tears to fall afresh down her cheeks. She barely registered the fact that they were all standing in the entrance hall of Snow and Charming’s castle, and that it had been fully restored to its former magnificence; or that Regina was telling Snow that she would relinquish the throne to her and Charming. But when Snow began telling everyone they could all stay in the castle with them until they got everything figured out, Belle looked up, finally paying attention. She already knew where she wanted to go.

“Bae,” she called out. She knew he liked to be called “Neil” now, but Rumple had always called him Bae, and so now would she.

“Bae,” she called out again, louder this time. Bae looked up and turned towards her.

“Yeah?” he answered. 

Belle hesitated, biting her lip. She wasn’t sure how he would react to her request.

“What is it, Belle?” he asked, walking over to her. 

“I want to go to…” she tried and failed to say Rumpelstiltkin’s name aloud. “I want to go to the Dark Castle.”

She watched his face carefully. He stared at her intently for a few moments, and then nodded.

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “I’ll take you there.”

“And will you stay?” She asked.

Bae said nothing, and Belle saw his mouth harden.

“Please, Bae?” she implored. She knew she was asking a lot of him, but she needed this. She didn’t want to be alone, and he was the only other person there that would really feel for Rumpelstiltskin’s death.

Bae nodded again. “Sure, I’ll stay. For a little while.”

“Thank you,” Belle replied, giving a small smile, which Bae returned.

And so they had gone to Rumpelstiltskin’s old home—her old home—in the Dark Castle. Bae had warned her that the castle had been ransacked, but when they arrived they had found it in perfect order, just like Snow White’s castle had been. Really, it was like they had never left. The first thing she had done was make her way to the library. She still remembered the way, even after all this time. She had looked around at all the books, then sat in her favorite corner, closed her eyes, and imagined she was back in those days long ago, before Rumple had sent her away.

And now an eternity of two weeks had passed. Belle stood outside of the two large wooden doors that led to the one room she had not yet had the courage to enter; the room where much of their story had taken place. For a long while she stood outside the door, steeling herself to revisit the room that held so many of their best and worst memories. This was the room where she had chipped the cup; where she and Rumple had argued about the thief who stole the wand; where, whilst trying to open the curtains, she had fallen from the ladder and landed in Rumpelstiltskin’s arms; where Rumple had always done his spinning; where they had learned about each other; where he had let her go; and where they had shared true love’s kiss. She both longed to set foot in that room again, and dreaded it. At long last, she took a deep breath, pushed open the heavy doors, and stepped into the room.

It was exactly as she remembered it. There was the long table with his solitary chair at the end, complete with a tea tray, as though he had just been there. Further in, near to the right-hand corner next to the shelves full of magic things was the spinning wheel. Even the curtains were still open. Belle smiled; it was no different from when she had last stood there in that dreadfully important room. 

No…there was one, small, change. Belle noticed it as she looked around at the many artifacts Rumpelstiltskin had kept there. She could hardly believe what she was seeing, and she staggered towards the plinth that stood by the window. During her time there, the plinth had housed a bejeweled and golden grail. But now something quite different held that place of honor; it…was their chipped cup. Belle stared down at the little thing. The gesture was so small, and yet the meaning held in it took her breath away and nearly knocked her off her feet. She remembered the words he had spoken to her in his shop, not so very long ago; “There are many things in this shop, but this is the only thing I truly cherish.” He must have placed it there on the plinth after Regina had told him she was dead; a last tribute to her. The thought brought tears to her eyes. She stood there and sobbed, huge, gasping sobs that shook her whole body. She wept for her poor Rumple, and all he must have suffered those twenty-eight years and more, believing her to be dead. She wept for the man who had loved her so deeply, he had wanted to go back to the best version of himself; and who she had loved in return enough to stay with him, even when he was a beast.

When the sobs subsided to a steady flow of tears, Belle made her way to the spinning wheel and sat down on the stool Rumple had so often occupied. There was even a basket of straw sitting ready beside the wheel. Belle smiled a little through her tears at the memory of what Rumple had said when she had asked him why he spun so much; “It helps me to forget,” “Forget what?” “I guess it worked. Niyah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Belle wished she knew how to spin. Maybe it would help her to forget some of her pain. She imagined what Rumple’s reaction would be to her asking him to teach her to spin. Not straw into gold, just fibers into ordinary thread. She pictured his incredulous face, and let out a sound that was both a sob and a laugh at the same time. 

After stroking the wheel and spinning it round a few times, Belle closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to catch Rumple’s scent lingering there. The memory of him was so strong in the room, it was almost like a palpable presence. She sat there for a long time, revisiting the memories, both good and bad, that they had made together. 

Belle was so wrapped up in her memories that she didn’t hear the approaching footsteps until she heard a voice quite close to her.  
“Hey, I didn’t realize you were in here,” it said.

Belle looked around, startled; it was Bae. He was standing by the table, staring at her. He seemed surprised to find her there. She looked away, back at the spinning wheel. She and Bae hadn’t spoken much in the last two weeks. But she suddenly remembered that there was a question she had been meaning to ask him since they had returned from Neverland.

“I’ve just been going through some of my father’s magic things, and I thought I’d do this room today,” he said. 

“Do you forgive him now?” Belle asked, completely bluntly.

“What?” Bae asked, sounding shocked.

“Rumpelstiltskin. You’re father. Do you forgive him now?”

Bae just stared at her, looking completely taken aback. 

“I think he deserves your forgiveness. I think he deserves everyone’s forgiveness after what he’s done.”

She stood up and took a few steps towards him.

“It went against everything he had ever been; he, who always made deals where he got the best end of it, and only did things if there was something in it for him, did something completely selfless! It was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen. And do you remember what he said? ‘I’m a villain, and villains don’t get happy endings,’ but in that moment he became a hero, he deserved his happy ending! It should have been with you and me. But he gave it all up to save all our lives. If anyone in this world ever deserved forgiveness, Rumpelstiltskin does!

Belle was crying again now. A sob interrupted her vent, and Baelfire took the opportunity to speak.

“You think I don’t know all that? I was standing there too; I heard every word he said! I had more than a hundred years to think about all the bad things he had done, to me and to others. Of course I didn’t forgive him at first! But when we were together in Storybrook, and even in Neverland, I could see that he was changing, that he already had changed. And after his last words to us, and how he killed Pan even though he knew he would die too, of course I forgive him! I had already started to forgive him by the time we left Neverland. And I’ll never get to tell him that! Don’t you think I wish I had forgiven him while I had the chance?”

Belle looked at Bae. He sounded angry, but he looked…sad. Like, he was angry with himself.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, tears continuing to fall down her cheeks. Bae sighed, his shoulders slumping and his face softening.

“No, don’t be sorry,” he said. “I know how much you loved him. I mean, you stayed with him even though he was still a bit of a monster. You made him better. You made him strong enough to change. And by the end, the coward and monster that I knew was gone, all because of you. Thank you.”

At that, Bae walked over to Belle and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispered again. “I’m sorry you didn’t get your happy ending. It would have been a good life, all of us together. I guess neither of us will get our happy endings.”

Belle looked up at Bae questioningly.

“Emma and Henry are back in the world without magic. And I don’t know if anybody here will ever see them again,” he explained.

“Oh, that’s right, I’m sorry,” Belle murmured.

“It’s okay,” Bae shrugged. “At the very least, maybe the two of us together can find an ‘ever after.’”

Belle smiled. “Maybe,” she agreed.

But even so, Belle refused to extinguish the tiny, smoldering ember deep within her heart that was her hope that somewhere, somehow, Rumpelstiltskin was still alive.


End file.
